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occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com
The Occasional Humourist: Abuzz
http://occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com/2010/08/abuzz.html
The Online Home of Humour Writer David Crawford. Monday, August 16, 2010. Authors Note: This column won America's Funniest Humor contest in August/September 2010. Here is a link to that contest:. Http:/ humorpress.com/Results/Essays-201008-09/aa-Winners/Essay-201008-09-Winners.htm. My son (age 9) was reading a new science book. I was in mid-sip of my coffee when he approached and asked an innocent question. I sprayed beverage all over the newspaper. This whole scenario would make a great movie…. The Quee...
occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com
The Occasional Humourist: Fantasies Most Foul!
http://occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com/2013/06/murder-most-foul.html
The Online Home of Humour Writer David Crawford. Saturday, June 8, 2013. I don’t know about you, but some of my best daydreams consist of plotting sinister and often violent revenge against those who annoy me. Sadly, most of these dreams remain unrealized. One of my more enduring and wonderful criminal fantasies began to take shape after I moved into my new home. Did I mention it was 5:00am? Would you mind turning off your machine please? I’m trying to sleep! I lay back down and twitched in the fetal pos...
occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com
The Occasional Humourist: 06/14
http://occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com/2014_06_01_archive.html
The Online Home of Humour Writer David Crawford. Thursday, June 12, 2014. Observations Regarding New Home Water Closet after One Week of Occupancy (of the new home, not just the bathroom). The shower is good! Posted by David Crawford. Simple Rules for Being a Professional Tour Guide. Based on a true story. 1 Always read your passenger manifest CAREFULLY, as this indicates who should be picked up where, and in what order. 3 In the event of 2 (above), wait for the cell phone in your pocket to begin ringing...
occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com
The Occasional Humourist: The Leaning Pines Home for Aging Rock Stars
http://occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com/2009/11/leaning-pines.html
The Online Home of Humour Writer David Crawford. Thursday, November 5, 2009. The Leaning Pines Home for Aging Rock Stars. This column took First Place in the recent Americas Funniest Humor contest! Yes, they were desperate for entries. As general manager of the Leaning Pines Home for Aging Rock Stars, I take great pride in keeping the lines of communication open with you all. It is yet another reason why we are the preferred assisted living destination among the aging rock star population. Staff report h...
occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com
The Occasional Humourist: Farmers Market
http://occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com/2013/07/farmers-market.html
The Online Home of Humour Writer David Crawford. Saturday, July 6, 2013. The kids and I attended the local Farmers Market today, since you can never get enough Natural, Vegan, Organic, Free-Range, Hemp, Granola and Bark Mulch-based tie-died t-shirts sold by aging hippies from Nelson wearing knitted hats and body odor. I made toast, slathered in deadly margarine, and I liked it. I may be arrested. Posted by David Crawford. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Abuzz - Award Winner! Feel free to drop me a li...
occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com
The Occasional Humourist: 07/13
http://occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com/2013_07_01_archive.html
The Online Home of Humour Writer David Crawford. Saturday, July 6, 2013. The kids and I attended the local Farmers Market today, since you can never get enough Natural, Vegan, Organic, Free-Range, Hemp, Granola and Bark Mulch-based tie-died t-shirts sold by aging hippies from Nelson wearing knitted hats and body odor. I made toast, slathered in deadly margarine, and I liked it. I may be arrested. Posted by David Crawford. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Abuzz - Award Winner! Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada.
occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com
The Occasional Humourist: The Digestive System as Taught by a Plumber
http://occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com/2009/11/human-digestive-system-as-described-by.html
The Online Home of Humour Writer David Crawford. Wednesday, November 11, 2009. The Digestive System as Taught by a Plumber. The shortage of qualified surgeons in this country has led to drastic measures being taken. Here is a transcript of a lecture given recently to new surgical interns by Master Plumber Fred Johnson of Johnson’s Plumbing and Heating. 8220;Let’s go over the design plans briefly before we begin our operation, fellas.”. We’ll let the gas fitters work on the other line later.R...8220;Pa...
occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com
The Occasional Humourist: Callous Remarks
http://occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com/2008/09/callous-remarks.html
The Online Home of Humour Writer David Crawford. Wednesday, September 3, 2008. This column won 2nd place in the August/September 2009 America's Funniest Humor writing contest. Yay me! My bare feet were making a funny “Rrrip-Rrrip” sound as I walked across the carpet. Looking down, I discovered the edges of my heels resembled barnacles, and it was these crustaceans that were snagging the broadloom like Velcro™. I dove into the abrasives drawer and grabbed some commercial grade, diamond grit sandpaper.
occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com
The Occasional Humourist: Visions
http://occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com/2014/04/visions.html
The Online Home of Humour Writer David Crawford. Monday, April 21, 2014. It is forever burned into my memory…. The end of the weekend with my kids, we had an hour left. Off to the beach we go…. Early season, cold water. Doesn’t matter – off come my daughter’s shoes and off she goes – running, splashing, laughing. My child. Laughing, loving life, being free and wonderful, dancing and splashing in the setting sun. I have no money and few possessions, but I am a very rich and thankful man. Bovine Wine - Ame...
occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com
The Occasional Humourist: Observations Regarding New Home Water Closet after One Week of Occupancy (of the new home, not just the bathroom).
http://occasionalhumourist.blogspot.com/2014/06/observations-regarding-new-home-water.html
The Online Home of Humour Writer David Crawford. Thursday, June 12, 2014. Observations Regarding New Home Water Closet after One Week of Occupancy (of the new home, not just the bathroom). The shower is good! Posted by David Crawford. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Bovine Wine - America's Funniest Humor Writing Contest Winner! Abuzz - Award Winner! Health Care Now and Then - Award Winner! Leaning Pines Home For Aging Rock Stars* - Award Winner! Digestive System as Described by a Plumber. The columns...
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40 Year Old Sturgeon
40 Year Old Surfer
40 Year Old Surfer. Monday, September 13, 2010. Excited about the possibilities. This has been an amazing week! My first week up and I see a difference in my life already! 40 Year Old Surfer. Saturday, September 11, 2010. 40 Year Old Surfer. Wednesday, September 8, 2010. Well I decided to set up a blog so I can journalize everything that I am doing to reach my goal. September 8th, 2010. So here it goes! My goal is to be a "Surfer Girl" by June 1, 2011. What does that look like to me? My obstacles are tha...
THE FORTY YEAR OLD VEGAN
THE FORTY YEAR OLD VEGAN. My journey on the vegan bandwagon. Sunday, October 21, 2012. Just Do It.Even If You Suck! Check out my newest blog post on my website! Just Do It.Even If You Suck! Thursday, October 6, 2011. What is life without changes? I really don't mind change, for the most part! Some exciting changes are coming to this blog. I am moving it to my website! I have decided it will be best to keep all of me and myself in one spot, easier on me and of course you! I truly look forward to helping p...
The 40-Year-Old Vegans
We're a bunch of 40-somethings embarking on the Quantum Wellness 21-Day Cleanse. Our journey into a vegan, no-sugar/gluten/alcohol/caffeine existence begins November 29, 2010. Sunday, November 6, 2011. Guess what I'm most amazed by is how little I'm missing wine and my daily latte. And as for the juicing, thanks to Elise, I've signed up for Juicy Lucy for the next two weeks, delivering twice a week. David and I are going to share it - very excited! David BTW is full force doing it and is feeling great!
40 Year Old Version
40 Year Phone Call
40 Year Phone Call - For the love of music...
That Show Changed my Life. The Art of the Live Show. You’ve learned your instrument and you’ve honed your songwriting craft. It’s time to take it to the stage. Just play your song. right? Even the artist with just a guitar and microphone or a Piano and a microphone needs to have a plan. It’s More than just a song. Swithfoot Live in New Hampshire. It was planned and it worked. How do you learn to create moments? Do’s and Don’t’s. Understand Where you’re at. (Venue, People and even your career). These are ...
One Strike Away…Twice!
One Strike Away…Twice! It took 40 years to go from lovable losers to Title contenders. Follow along to see if the Rangers can finally seal the deal. Good Problems To Have. The Texas Rangers find themselves in last place in the AL West, a familiar perch since 2014. Yet scoring back to back wins for the first time in 2015, over the first place Houston Astros no less, adds more good problems to the Rangers. Here are the problems, in order of when they’ll crop up. Mitch Moreland Comes Off The DL. Oof Now it ...
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MINIMUM INSPECTION ELECTRICAL RECERTIFICATION. Miami-Dade Parking Lighting Ordiance. What is the 40 Year Recertication? List of 40 Yr. Inspection Companies. Products & Services for Commercial Properties. Broward County 40 Year Inspection Program. LED Lighting for Sea Turtles. Lighting Tips for Protecting Sea Turtles. Click Link for PDF Scope of Recertification. Failure to obtain recertification will result in loss of the certificate of occupancy for the building. Leave a Reply Cancel reply.
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The 40 year Recertification Inspection Dade and Broward
Understanding the 40 year Recertification process in Miami Dade and Broward:. The 40 Year Recertification. Ordinance was initially adopted by the Miami-Dade County Commission in 1975. It was replaced in 2001 by the current law which adopts the. Florida Building Code and continues the requirement that buildings in Miami-Dade County after 40 years (and every 10 years thereafter) be re certified by a registered Florida Engineer or Architect for structural and electrical safety. The 40 Year Recertification.